ZEELAND, Mich. (Friday, January 27, 2006) - “He said he always had his eye on me,” says Marian Van Dam about her husband Ed, “but he had to wait for me to grow up before we could go out!” Ed waited until Marian was 15 before asking her out on a date. “He was 19 at the time-he seemed like an old man to me then!” This June, Ed will turn 95. He and his sweetheart have been married 67 years.
The Van Dams are one of 19 couples at Royal Park Place and the Royal Atrium Inn who have been married 40 years or more. Ranging from 41 to 68 anniversaries, these couples’ combined years of marriage total 1,141.
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Why there seem to be so many long-term marriages represented at this senior living campus remains a mystery to Director Jeff Zylstra, though he can suggest a few contributing factors: “Many are Christian couples, with a strong belief in the sanctity of marriage. Several of them were married when they were relatively poor, so struggling together helped forge a lasting bond. Typically they married younger than people do today. And a lot of these couples are very active and healthy-some of them still exercise together!-and that means they are living longer.”
The Van Dams bear witness to the value of an active lifestyle. They played golf together until about two years ago, when he was 92 and she was 88. Today, as residents in the Royal Atrium Inn, they still participate in activities together: “We walk outdoors when the weather is nice,” says Marian, “If it’s not nice, we walk indoors.”
Perhaps another contributing factor is how “matter-of-fact” these couples are about marriage and about life in general. Betty Slag, who has been married to her husband Harold for 68 years, tends to shy away from making any fuss about their longevity. “This June will only be 69,” she defers. “It’s not really a big deal until it’s one of those big numbers. Why don’t you wait until our 70th?” The Slags have no special anniversary traditions, though they did get together with family for “big” celebrations on their 25th, 50th, and 60th anniversaries, and they “might” do something special to mark their 70th.
Having a marriage that lasts 40 years or more earns a couple the right to offer advice to younger generations, including gems like these:
“Laugh a lot.”
“Don’t sweat the small things.”
“Don’t think you’re always right.”
“Go to church.”
“Pray about everything-that’s what I tell all my children, and it’s worked for them.”
“Love is more than a feeling; it’s a commitment, a covenant.”
“You usually get back whatever you put into the world, so put your best in.”
Royal Park Place is located at 500 Parkside Drive in Zeeland, Michigan. Call 616-772-2224 for more information.
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